Here I am back in Alanya; already feels as though I’ve never been away. Woken up this morning by extremely heavy bulldog on top of me slobbering all over my face - revolting! To think I actually missed the disgusting mutt - what was I thinking of? 
Absolutely knackered! My sleep pattern doesn’t know what it’s doing, and it’s so bloody hot - I’ve got to get used to it all over again. 
Spent yesterday afternoon playing on the Wii like the big kid I am. There were four of us, all with our little Mii’s, playing one stupid game after another. (Must video the boxing - it’s hysterical!) I love the Wii - though mastering the golf is going to be a challenge. I like the way I can win at bowling, when in reality I am the crappiest player that ever lived. It’s a good workout though, beats going to the gym; just wish the apartment was a bit cooler! 
So - HOW WAS THE UK?
Weather? 
Better than expected, only rained the last couple of days. Oh, and the day
we went to the beach.
Kids? 
Great to see them, we had a good time in London. They’re all growing like weeds.
Tom has set up his one-man grass cutting venture. watch out all residents of Grampound; your gardens are never going to be the same again!
Nicola was excited about her holiday to Fuerteventura. Got her some glad-rags to take with her; Primark’s a wonderful place!
Ashley - Honorary gob-shite of the family. Seems happy with the title.
Si reckons he’s a dead cert to get an Asbo in a couple of years. Think he'd be delighted.
Zoe - what can I say? $%&*@$%%%!!!!
Sophie - crazy as ever. Fashion mad and far too grown up for her age.
She can’t be only 8 still? Bought her heely lookalikes, which she was well chuffed with.
What did we do?
Apart from eating non-stop;
Plymouth - shopped ‘til we dropped. Got the inside of my ear pierced again.
London Zoo - there all day, it was great. (We had to get our money’s worth.) Loved the gorillas. Took masses of photos; so be prepared to be bored to death soon.
Science Museum - Imax 3D was brilliant. Joined in with the kids in
trying to catch the fish!
Natural History - museumed out by the time I got there, and it was really, really busy, saw the dinosaurs and scarpered.
Hard Rock Cafe - Loved it there. Expensive but the food was great.
Brilliant atmosphere too. We have our souvenir cocktail glasses! And of course, my photo of Jimmie Hendrix’s coat.
Cruise along Thames - very pleasant, went to see the Thames barrier. I think I’d like to live in an apartment next to the river - anyone got a spare million or two they can live without?
Camden - Loved it there. Walked along towpath. What a sleazy, crazy place. Felt very at home! Bought a fantastic Goth coat, which worried the children somewhat; had to promise them I wouldn’t wear it in their presence. Sat in the sun in a waterside pub and soaked up the incredibly strong weed that was wafting our way. And the takeaway food! Fantastic! Sat on the edge of the pavement and behaved like a family of gyppoes. Only £2 for Thai, Italian, Mexican, Chinese or Moroccan food. Only wish I’d had enough room to shovel some more in. On Ashley’s orders we had to go back the next evening for more.
Chinese - ate at various establishments, all offering an all-you-can-eat
buffet for less than a fiver. We know how to live it up!
Harrods - Of course we received the special attention that we deserved from the doorman; who told us in no uncertain terms that we had to take our rucksacks off our backs and carry them properly, or we couldn’t come in. Could have gone mad in the pet department. Dear God - the things you can get for your animals, and at such bargain prices! But - a Christmas Department in August; the world’s gone mad!
Shuffled through the food department like down and outs, gawking at the truly ridiculous prices. As we went past the sea-food eatery bit, Si called out - “shall we have a glass of champers with our oysters dahling?” Yeah - right!
Celebrities - I saw absolutely no-one. Simon was the first to spot a celeb. Wait for it; Gabrielle! Can imagine he only recognised her by the eye-patch. Needless to say, the kids were not impressed. Who’s Gabrielle? Then in Bond Street he spotted our only other Celeb - Zara Phillips. He was the only one that saw her so he could have been making it up. We stopped outside a jeweller because there were loads of paparazzi about. Who are you waiting for? - Kimberley Stewart. Nuff said - walked on quickly.
KFC - have to give them a quick mention. The food may be crap, but it’s very tasty crap. Particularly recommend the Big Daddy meal; £4.99’s worth of full-on cholesterol laden loveliness. Warning - your stomach may explode soon afterwards, but it will be worth it!
Outlaws?
Hmm! Could devote pages to this one. A following chapter may ensue.
Funny Farm?
Not too bad, but wasn’t there long enough to fully appreciate the atmosphere.
Back on the diet again today! Not that I’ve ever actually started. Surely though, if I kid myself for long enough; I might actually get around to doing something about it?
So today I’m back in the office. Got plenty to do but the internet has gone down - hence I’m writing this rubbish. Not just work though - got to catch up on my forum - that’s like an addiction. And to my shame I discovered Facebook last night. Obviously designed for kids, but I just love it. There’s just so much junk you can add to it; right up my street. I’ll throttle Lucy when I finally see her - it’s all her fault that Simon is rapidly becoming a computer widow!
Si’s been in and told me that Oman’s’ dog has just had her puppies. 5 more fat little bulldogs in the world. He’s offered us a female (free) so that we can have a breeding pair. How can we refuse? How will we cope? The apartment will be destroyed! Not to mention the car - eek! We’ve got a few weeks to talk ourselves out of it, but I think it’s a dead cert. I am going to be over-run with bloody bulldogs. ~What do you think of Bumble as a name? Think it suits a rotund little beastie. Apparently all the pups are brown with little piggy tales. I’ll have to get some super-duper earplugs to shut out all the snoring.
Buster and Bumble - cute eh?
Photo's to follow soon.
